The date comes every year whether I want it to or not, and I still remember everything about that morning (and the night before) as it happened 8 years ago.
I remember the call. Then I remember the next call that I had to make, calling to tell my husband he needed to come home from work. Then I remember the call after that. To my mom, telling her the news, and how I didn't know how I was ever going to get those words out to say to her. I remember the last thing I said to him as we transfered him to the hospice. And how making the decision to send him to the hospice was probably one of the hardest choices I'd ever have to make.
But, I knew my dad, I knew his wishes, and I had to respect that. He'd had a stroke a few weeks before which had left him pretty helpless, and he was pretty pissed about that. Then they found the Cancer. Melanoma that had gone to his lungs and brain. They gave him weeks. It turned out to be just several hours. I left him that night, telling him not to worry, everything was going to be ok, and that I loved him and would see him in the morning. Part of me thinks back to those words and how everything was not ok...but then an even bigger part of me think back and knows that really was the right thing to say, even though I did not know it at the time. He passed just a few hours later, and finally everything really was ok, and he no longer would have any worries. In his last hours he asked to see a Minister, and being Catholic, although non-praciting for years, he chose to pray and hear his Last Rites. My father was by no means a man of God, in fact, he was probably quite the opposite.He liked to enjoy his life, his whiskey, his guns, and various other vices... But, in the end he knew God was calling him, and welcomed his leaving us to be in a better place.
I miss my dad dearly. Daily. However, I still find peace in knowing that his prescence is always around me and my family, keeping us safe. While I wish that he was here to see my babies, I know that he sees them and knows them well.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
What's in a Name?
WARNING: It's a novel. Go pee and grab your coffee first. Or grab your coffee then pee. Whichever suits your need at the time.
I named my blog a few years ago, when I was laid off and became a stay at home mom. At the time I had full intentions of writing about all of the going on's (if that's even a correct phase) in my life. Somehow, the title "Adventures in life, love in Motherhood" has really just been about Motherhood. Which is fine with me. But sometimes the name just doesn't feel like it fits. Then I thought of this post. And for the first time in a long time it fits so perfectly.
The husband and I took our first "vacation" since before Kyndall was born (with the exception of literally 2 days in Vegas just to watch a UFC fight - which I wouldn't call a vacation - more like a getaway.) I love my husband dearly, and haveneeded yearned, for some time away with him for the past year. We've had a few date nights here and there, but I needed him, away from all the craziness that is our everyday lives. And we LOVE Vegas, it's where we were married almost 7 years ago, and just a place that we go back to over and over. We know the roads there the same as we know them in Houston. We even know a few of the dealers at the casinos that we go to regularly. It's our place. We've been planing a trip there for what seems like forever, but was probablly really only 6 months or so.
The day of our flight, Kyndall comes down with what we think is a horrible UTI. Screaming in pain every time she needs to pee, and hasn't gone for about 24 hrs, by the time I get her to the dr. After a failed attempt at a catheter, she finally gives enough of a sample to test, and then wakes the whole dr office up with her screaming as she finally relieves herself. HORRIBLE experience for us both. I was in tears. I didn't even cry when she got her first shots, I still don't. But this was truly so heartbreaking. All I could do was pray, and beg for God to take away her pain. They give her a shot of antibiotics, which she cries about for an hour, and complains that her leg hurts so bad that she can't walk...We drop her off at MaMaws, she seems fine, and we take off for the flight. I call to check in the next day, and again it's been 24 hours since the last time she peed...it's 3:30 Houston time, and the dr closes in 30 minutes. No way for my MIL to get a sitter for Rhyder and get to Baytown in 30 min...so it looks like a trip up to TCH ER. My mom rushes off work to head over - then another call. She finally went. I hear her laughing and playing in the background as opposed to the crying and whining I heard before. Next morning it's my moms turn with the kiddos. When I call her to check in, she tells me that Rhyder has a really bad cough and she's having to take both kids back to the Dr. FANTASTIC. Turns out Rhyder now has Croup. My poor mom and these sick babies. And poor me (yes I said it - poor ME). All I wanted was a break, and even 1,000 miles away I'm still worried sick about my babies at home.
Our trip was good despite that...and losing a bit of money...but then again, that's what you go to Vegas for anyways right??? Actually, someone ELSE lost the money, I kept us from losing TOO much by winning a few hundred here and there at roulette. One thing we learned...never play 23, always play 3. 4 times of playing and 23 NEVER hit. 3 hit every time. Yay me! :) Blackjack wasn't that great to us, but we had a great time playing. Hugos was FANTASTIC as always, and we had a great dinner at Mastrao's in the new CityCentre with some friends of ours who lived there. O'Shea's was a blast as always, Four Queens our usual spot robbed us blind within about 45 minutes. We missed the Paris breakfast buffet, and Margaritaville - two of the stops we ALWAYS make...but found a nice little new place to play downtown at Main Street Station that still pays 3-2 on Blackjack! We took a little drive up to Mt. Charleston and fell in love. We will be back one day for some sking and a few nights in one of the cabins that sits on the side of the mountain and has one of the best views ever! Oh, and of course we had to have our In & Out, # 2, Animal Style. I could seriously go to Vegas for just 24 hours, play a little blackjack, have In & Out for lunch, Hugo's for dinner, and come home a happy camper. Love the food in that town. After 3 long nights and 3 quick days, we headed back home on a crappy flight that was delayed over an hour, and finally got back to my moms around 2am . Babies were up around 7, and I was soooooo happy to have my sickiepoos back in my arms! Well, up for good, Rhyder was up from around 330-5am - welcome home, and back to no sleep! But I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!
And thank you Mom for taking such great care of my babies, I know it was hard, but they loved spending the couple of days with you and PaPaw as always.
Now, a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.
Overall we had a great trip. And I had a chance to experience the best parts of my life...My love, and Motherhood.
I named my blog a few years ago, when I was laid off and became a stay at home mom. At the time I had full intentions of writing about all of the going on's (if that's even a correct phase) in my life. Somehow, the title "Adventures in life, love in Motherhood" has really just been about Motherhood. Which is fine with me. But sometimes the name just doesn't feel like it fits. Then I thought of this post. And for the first time in a long time it fits so perfectly.
The husband and I took our first "vacation" since before Kyndall was born (with the exception of literally 2 days in Vegas just to watch a UFC fight - which I wouldn't call a vacation - more like a getaway.) I love my husband dearly, and have
The day of our flight, Kyndall comes down with what we think is a horrible UTI. Screaming in pain every time she needs to pee, and hasn't gone for about 24 hrs, by the time I get her to the dr. After a failed attempt at a catheter, she finally gives enough of a sample to test, and then wakes the whole dr office up with her screaming as she finally relieves herself. HORRIBLE experience for us both. I was in tears. I didn't even cry when she got her first shots, I still don't. But this was truly so heartbreaking. All I could do was pray, and beg for God to take away her pain. They give her a shot of antibiotics, which she cries about for an hour, and complains that her leg hurts so bad that she can't walk...We drop her off at MaMaws, she seems fine, and we take off for the flight. I call to check in the next day, and again it's been 24 hours since the last time she peed...it's 3:30 Houston time, and the dr closes in 30 minutes. No way for my MIL to get a sitter for Rhyder and get to Baytown in 30 min...so it looks like a trip up to TCH ER. My mom rushes off work to head over - then another call. She finally went. I hear her laughing and playing in the background as opposed to the crying and whining I heard before. Next morning it's my moms turn with the kiddos. When I call her to check in, she tells me that Rhyder has a really bad cough and she's having to take both kids back to the Dr. FANTASTIC. Turns out Rhyder now has Croup. My poor mom and these sick babies. And poor me (yes I said it - poor ME). All I wanted was a break, and even 1,000 miles away I'm still worried sick about my babies at home.
Our trip was good despite that...and losing a bit of money...but then again, that's what you go to Vegas for anyways right??? Actually, someone ELSE lost the money, I kept us from losing TOO much by winning a few hundred here and there at roulette. One thing we learned...never play 23, always play 3. 4 times of playing and 23 NEVER hit. 3 hit every time. Yay me! :) Blackjack wasn't that great to us, but we had a great time playing. Hugos was FANTASTIC as always, and we had a great dinner at Mastrao's in the new CityCentre with some friends of ours who lived there. O'Shea's was a blast as always, Four Queens our usual spot robbed us blind within about 45 minutes. We missed the Paris breakfast buffet, and Margaritaville - two of the stops we ALWAYS make...but found a nice little new place to play downtown at Main Street Station that still pays 3-2 on Blackjack! We took a little drive up to Mt. Charleston and fell in love. We will be back one day for some sking and a few nights in one of the cabins that sits on the side of the mountain and has one of the best views ever! Oh, and of course we had to have our In & Out, # 2, Animal Style. I could seriously go to Vegas for just 24 hours, play a little blackjack, have In & Out for lunch, Hugo's for dinner, and come home a happy camper. Love the food in that town. After 3 long nights and 3 quick days, we headed back home on a crappy flight that was delayed over an hour, and finally got back to my moms around 2am . Babies were up around 7, and I was soooooo happy to have my sickiepoos back in my arms! Well, up for good, Rhyder was up from around 330-5am - welcome home, and back to no sleep! But I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!
And thank you Mom for taking such great care of my babies, I know it was hard, but they loved spending the couple of days with you and PaPaw as always.
Now, a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.
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| SNOW! We were sitting in snow!!! It's typically 30 degrees cooler in the mountains than in Vegas - and we found this to be true! 89 in the valley, a gorgeous 63 in the mountains! |
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| Mon Bel Ami - where it all began, August 23, 2004. My sometimes romantic husband even pulled in to surprise me with a quick walk through to take a peek at what had changed, and recall some good memories. :) Love that man. |
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| Self pic of us at Cosmopolitan inside of CityCentre. |
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| Mt. Charleston |
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| The photog in me always chasing that sunflare... |
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Deep Thoughts, by Kyndall B.
I just have to write about a little something Kyndall just said to me before I forget. I've been sick as a dog the past few days, and since I'm so tired of continuously using Kleenex or T/P to blow my nose on, I've taken up using burp cloths or baby washcloths to blow my nose on. For one, they seem to be everywhere...for 2, they are pretty soft. So, Kyndall just caught me using a baby washcloth and this was the following convo:
Kyndall: What are you doing?
Me: Blowing my nose.
Kyndall: You used my babydolls washcloth.
Me: Yes, I did.
Kyndall: That's not nice.
Me: You're right. It's not. I'm sorry. I won't do it again, and I will wash it for you.
Kyndall: Ok.
Then runs off...seriously. Where does a 2 1/2 year old get this thinking from?
Kyndall: What are you doing?
Me: Blowing my nose.
Kyndall: You used my babydolls washcloth.
Me: Yes, I did.
Kyndall: That's not nice.
Me: You're right. It's not. I'm sorry. I won't do it again, and I will wash it for you.
Kyndall: Ok.
Then runs off...seriously. Where does a 2 1/2 year old get this thinking from?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
You better put some water in that...
Kyndall LOVES water. Loves washing her hands. Which I'm sure is a good thing, but at the same time it has me thinking that she might just become a bit OCD (from me) as she gets older. That or she just loves to play in the water. I've told myself that we are going to get her one of those water table thingys for her birthday in July. Hell, it can't make any more of a mess than the mountain of bubbles I walked into yesterday, or the inches of our flooded bathroom from where a pair of her panties had been in the sink, stopped it up and she kept it running...and running, and running. I think knowing that all mom's know that "drip...drip...drip" onto porcelain tile sound. And if you're a new mom and you don't...you will. She will wash her hands for 20 minutes if you let her. And you wanna know a secret?? Sometimes I do! HA!
However, it causes her to go through soap like a crazy...1 1/2 bottle down this week. So, what does she do when it runs out? Puts water in it! She just asked me to go wash her hands in Mommy and Daddys bathroom, not sure what's so special about but, to each their own. I told her not right now, and that we were out of soap. Her response? "I will just put water in it and rub my hands together like this (rubs hands together). It's not going to make it any worse."
What do I say to that.... I love that girl.
Oh and to top off this whole conversation...she had hit record on my phone before setting it down to talk to me about washing her hands. So, even though it's just a brown screen. I have it on record. :) Turn it way up...and then once right about at the half way point feel free to turn it off. We've walked out of the room...
AND - speaking of water. I grabbed another video today while sitting at the red light of her pronouncing water. Just for you Mom. (Please excuse my sweet little angel picking her nose...she gets that from her Daddy...)
However, it causes her to go through soap like a crazy...1 1/2 bottle down this week. So, what does she do when it runs out? Puts water in it! She just asked me to go wash her hands in Mommy and Daddys bathroom, not sure what's so special about but, to each their own. I told her not right now, and that we were out of soap. Her response? "I will just put water in it and rub my hands together like this (rubs hands together). It's not going to make it any worse."
What do I say to that.... I love that girl.
Oh and to top off this whole conversation...she had hit record on my phone before setting it down to talk to me about washing her hands. So, even though it's just a brown screen. I have it on record. :) Turn it way up...and then once right about at the half way point feel free to turn it off. We've walked out of the room...
AND - speaking of water. I grabbed another video today while sitting at the red light of her pronouncing water. Just for you Mom. (Please excuse my sweet little angel picking her nose...she gets that from her Daddy...)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Things my kid said today...
So, in talking to a friend over the weekend we were talking about how our kids say so many funny and memorable things, yet 2 hours later, we've forgotten them again. Her suggestion was to write them down as soon as they say them, on the big part of the calendar date. I have been repeating these things in my head for the past 2 hours, so that I didn't forget. And these are the memorable things my 2 1/2 year old said to me today...
Leave me alone....and go away.
Both because she was playing and didn't want me to interrupt.
And after I caught her drinking the water in the tub "I'm just drinking the waTer." (I told her that we say WA TUR instead of WA WA and now she super stresses the T in it. So, cute.) I made a comment about how we don't drink the bath water because it's so gross and dirty. She just smiled as the water came pouring out of her mouth... I went back to check on her a few minutes later and I asked her if she was ok and she said "Yessss. I'm not drinking the waTer. Just playing." Turd.
BTW - I ran errands all day, Rhyder is sick with a bad cold AND will have his first two teeth any day now, so my sweet boy has been sad and sometimes looks so miserable. :(. So in all that I did today I was toting his carrier, and diaper bag around all day. I'm about 99% sure that I pulled my bicep. And it HURTS. While at the dr today just joking around we weighed me, then the diaper bag that I carry on my left side, and him on my right. My weight without them...146 lbs (YAY me by the way!) With them? 183. Just busted out my trust calculator and that's 37 lbs. 37!!! No wonder my arms are always covered in bruises and sore! 19 lbs of that is him, but the rest is just junk!
Leave me alone....and go away.
Both because she was playing and didn't want me to interrupt.
And after I caught her drinking the water in the tub "I'm just drinking the waTer." (I told her that we say WA TUR instead of WA WA and now she super stresses the T in it. So, cute.) I made a comment about how we don't drink the bath water because it's so gross and dirty. She just smiled as the water came pouring out of her mouth... I went back to check on her a few minutes later and I asked her if she was ok and she said "Yessss. I'm not drinking the waTer. Just playing." Turd.
BTW - I ran errands all day, Rhyder is sick with a bad cold AND will have his first two teeth any day now, so my sweet boy has been sad and sometimes looks so miserable. :(. So in all that I did today I was toting his carrier, and diaper bag around all day. I'm about 99% sure that I pulled my bicep. And it HURTS. While at the dr today just joking around we weighed me, then the diaper bag that I carry on my left side, and him on my right. My weight without them...146 lbs (YAY me by the way!) With them? 183. Just busted out my trust calculator and that's 37 lbs. 37!!! No wonder my arms are always covered in bruises and sore! 19 lbs of that is him, but the rest is just junk!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Friday Fill In - #1 of 2011
1. I love to go to Vegas because the place brings back so many memories of great times with friends and the Hubby.
2. It's not the quantity, it’s the quality only applies on some things...like money.
3. The last thing I had to eat was a gross cookie that I attempted to try and make tastes better by rewarming in the toaster oven...didn't work. Mrs. Fields cookies in a box don't compare to the real thing.
4. A college degree is no longer essential.
5. Please take a moment to thank God.
6. Because He has the one who has brought you this far.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to nothing really, tomorrow my plans include going to an unexpected wedding and Sunday, I want to take the kids to see my Mom who's been out of town.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Knock knock - Hi, it's me again!
I just looked...and again, it's been about a month! ugh.
Well, in the past month I've come through my gallbladder surgery great, didn't really miss a beat at all in my love of all things food...and even through my month "off" of my diet, I still managed to lose a few pounds!! Which brings me to today's thought...
I put on a shirt this morning that I had put away for when I'm skinny again - now...I still have about 20 lbs to go, which to me is a long way, until I will call myself skinny, but being that I'm already down almost 30...I know that I can make it another 20! No problem, and that's with taking a month off! So...I've gotta keep an eye on those size 5s and know that I will be back in them one day. (Ok...so maybe not a 5, but I WILL be in a 7!)
I'm SUPER excited about this summer...well, spring/summer. We are going on our first trip to Vegas since Kyndall was 6 months old. And for those who don't know us well, Vegas is a big deal for us. It's where we got married, and for that reason there is a little special place in our hearts for it. Before our babies came along we were there at least a few times a year. We know the back roads like the back our our hands, know the "locals" places to eat, and even have our own special dealer who we are seriously on a first name basis with... We LOVE that place. And it's not just the gambling, or partying, that's not the (only) reason we go. It's the weather, it's the atmosphere, it's the lights, the bluer than blue sky, the memories of our wedding, the smells, the food...ahhh...2 more weeks. I can do this...
In the mean time, I've REALLY slacked on taking monthly pics of the kiddos, mainly Rhy Guy as he changes so quickly so fast. So, while Sissy was sleeping the other day I snapped a few, a few weeks after he turned 8 months).
Well, in the past month I've come through my gallbladder surgery great, didn't really miss a beat at all in my love of all things food...and even through my month "off" of my diet, I still managed to lose a few pounds!! Which brings me to today's thought...
I put on a shirt this morning that I had put away for when I'm skinny again - now...I still have about 20 lbs to go, which to me is a long way, until I will call myself skinny, but being that I'm already down almost 30...I know that I can make it another 20! No problem, and that's with taking a month off! So...I've gotta keep an eye on those size 5s and know that I will be back in them one day. (Ok...so maybe not a 5, but I WILL be in a 7!)
I'm SUPER excited about this summer...well, spring/summer. We are going on our first trip to Vegas since Kyndall was 6 months old. And for those who don't know us well, Vegas is a big deal for us. It's where we got married, and for that reason there is a little special place in our hearts for it. Before our babies came along we were there at least a few times a year. We know the back roads like the back our our hands, know the "locals" places to eat, and even have our own special dealer who we are seriously on a first name basis with... We LOVE that place. And it's not just the gambling, or partying, that's not the (only) reason we go. It's the weather, it's the atmosphere, it's the lights, the bluer than blue sky, the memories of our wedding, the smells, the food...ahhh...2 more weeks. I can do this...
In the mean time, I've REALLY slacked on taking monthly pics of the kiddos, mainly Rhy Guy as he changes so quickly so fast. So, while Sissy was sleeping the other day I snapped a few, a few weeks after he turned 8 months).
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